Dibé Nitsaa
Taking off in Shiprock and a little new perspective
PIE Update
I’M BACK PITCHES!
I was getting a little worried about how I have been feeling about medicine. Medical school has made me very jaded towards the institutions of healthcare and the system that feeds it. I could write an entire book about my feelings over the last year so let’s not focus on that.
The past week has reminded me of why I am doing what I am doing. I feel like myself again. This is why I started this intro piece the way that I did. I’m back. I get it. I get why I have been learning a shit ton of information over the last year. I get why all the tears and frustrations were worth it. It feels so good to finally arrive at this point. I feel empowered after not feeling empowered during the course of my long continuous education journey. It feels good to work again! It feels good to be doing this kind of work. The kind of work that I have been working towards since I was just 15 years old.
So what have I been doing in the clinic? I have been learning. I have been learning from the great physicians working with me. But most importantly I have been learning from patients. The patients have been graciously offering their time to let me speak with them about what is bringing them into the clinic. Furthermore, patients are generously allowing me to do physical examinations and use the little clinical knowledge that I have to try to develop a plan for their course of treatment. On top of all of this learning, I have the beautiful opportunity to speak to my Navajo people. This is my why.
Although every patient cannot tell that I am Navajo, they curiously look at me trying to figure out what I am. Native? Hispanic? Mixed? I even had a nurse tell me, “you don’t look Navajo haha.” It’s all good. I am pretty used to it by now. (You can expect a full piece on my journey with being a light-skinned Navajo who often gets mistaken for all kinds of ethnicities.) Anyways, rotating in the family medicine department at Northern Navajo Medical Center has become a dream come true. I truly love talking with patients. From aunties to masanis, each of their stories grabs my attention like they are my own family. There is a connection between my desire to help my people and their appreciation for speaking with a young Navajo medical student. I know it has only been one week but I know I will cherish every moment in that hospital. Feels good to be back, pitches.
Dibé Nitsaa
Kody it’s so good to see you! It’s been a little while! I mean it’s been a little while since you were this close to me! You probably know this but I can always see you even when you can’t see me.
Anywho… welcome home! I have missed you and I know how much you have missed me.
I am doing well, thank you for asking.
What have I been up to? Oh you know, same ol’ same ol’ just out here protecting y’all and looking grand as always. Ayyee. I know that I am your favorite.
Yeah, I guess you do have a bit of bias towards me since you live so close to me but have you ever thought there is a reason why your family decided to settle down so close to me? Exactly. You were meant to admire me from your driveway every morning. I am glad you get to “oooh” and “ahhh” every morning now that you are home.
That's a good question Kody. I mean I only know my own perspective so I am not sure if I have an answer to your question. However, being here in this single spot for millions of years has led me to figure out how to view different perspectives. You have to know that while I am special and am part of our creation stories, I do not understand what “science” calls optical illusions. Shit. If you were able to see the creation of Changing Woman over here, then you would never need to ask another question about optical illusions. If you want me to give you a philosophical answer, I think the reason why mountains seem so grand far away but not up close is that you feel drawn toward us. Right? Because from far away you are like “wow. I want to get closer to that thing.” But then once you are up close, it’s hard for your mind to zoom out to truly understand your relative size within the mountain compared to the many parts of a mountain range. From far away we are nice and grouped together. Up close we are made up of valleys, rivers, hills, trees, and peaks. I know it’s weird but that’s the best answer I got for ya.
Hmmm. I kind of figured you were going to ask that after that response. You see, I do not know. Our sacred entities cannot fully explain ourselves because not only do we not have the ability to think from a human perspective but we also don’t really understand ourselves. Yeah, we are all connected and can talk with one another but we have our place. The combination of all of us makes us holy. The interconnectedness of everything is why we preach Hozhó so much. The balance of life depends on all of us. The best answer I can give you is by relating to your feelings about the human brain. It’s like asking a certain part of your brain what their perspective is when their perspective is only able to be formulated based on its dependence on another part of the brain. There you go. Don’t get caught up in all that though. I know how much you trust us. So trust us.
Ah fuck, I gotta run. I mean not actually. I literally have nowhere to go but I got something else to attend to. That's not right either because…ehhhh. You know what I mean. You make me proud kid. Talk to me more. Nice to have you home.
Favorite song right now: Rainy Day Woman by Waylon Jennings
Favorite movie right now: Prey (Watch it if you haven’t already)
Book I’m reading right now: Book Lovers by Emily Henry
See y’all next week.
Rope
P.S. Expect an off-schedule newsletter about a piece I wrote for the Medical Muse, the magazine/periodical of the UNM Health Sciences Campus.